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I recognized until then to be this independent, outgoing girl with an “optimistic character,” fixing problems by myself without relying on my man that I might have forced myself. Perhaps I experienced been attempting to show one thing, in this culture where individuals anticipate girls to be peaceful and submissive.
It’s been 2 yrs since our relationship finished. We wish I really could state my understanding brought me personally complete freedom from sex norms or objectives of other people, nonetheless it didn’t. We had doubts about that I was keen on remaining an outgoing, independent woman whether I was good enough a girlfriend to him considering. The greater amount of we mentioned our future, 
the greater afraid we became that i would never be their life that is perfect partner. We maintained worrying all about whether i possibly could satisfy their buddies or moms and dads’ expectations of a “good girl.”
My worries are not the only explanation we parted methods, nevertheless they had been truly one factor.
Dating him, yet others before that, has permitted us to see my self-contradictions and insecurities. I’m self-conscious of my womanhood and independence. I will be filled with contradictory desires, attempting to be my personal self, whatever which may be, but in addition attempting to fulfill South Korean society’s criteria on which a woman that is proper be. All of the social people i have actually met in school, at workplaces, also in the home have actually influenced me personally. It dawns on me personally that my battle is not more or less fighting South Korean men’s expectations of exactly how females need to act. We discovered for myself, too that I need to fight my own expectations.
I’m nevertheless learning about how to balance society’s needs on females and my interior faculties. But, now i am aware I don’t need certainly to suppress my вЂgirlish’ impulses in wanting to be a independent woman. It’s Valentine’s Day, and I also have always been enjoying chocolate that is making personal. We no more categorize this task being a womanly activity. It is just a hobby, that is all. In addition notice that alleged behaviors that are girlish aegyo and naesung aren’t the protect of females. Guys may do these plain things equally well as ladies.
The revelations on my component may be uncomfortable for many South Koreans to bear. (They might state making chocolate is a woman’s pastime and guys never do aegyo or naesung.) But i have to thank the South Korean guys we have dated — even those people who have been therefore critical of me — for leading me personally down this course of self-discovery. And I also enjoy fulfilling the man that is next may help me find out about whom i really am.